just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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