Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
my poor anus
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize