I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize