I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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