i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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