Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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