i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
In other news, I just burned my penis
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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