Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Actions speak louder than pants.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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