Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
