you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
