FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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