finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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