oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
