I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
