Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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