remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
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I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
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I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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