You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.