guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped