He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.