So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
ok first of all what the fuck
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