My nipple is on Facebook.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
