just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
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im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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