after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
