i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
