so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
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Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
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All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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