there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
