I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
