Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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