Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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