you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's rum buckets o'clock
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
