How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I understand Curling. That high.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
