She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
