oh god the rape fog is back!
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
