he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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