He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
