ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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