Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
