I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
