Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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