his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
