omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
