Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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