Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
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