I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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