How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
