is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
