Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize