Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
