VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
