haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
