I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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