I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
