I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
