Your tits are I can't wait for
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
