I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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