once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
