Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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