how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
