you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
