i just wanna soil my oats bro
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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