You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
