hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
