At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
