You can't motorboat a personality
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
