Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize