you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.đź’¨
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
