What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
home. puking in laundry basket.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
