; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
