All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
