I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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