When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
