Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
