my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
