eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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