Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My ass is underappreciated
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
