this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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