Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
